Dillinger Four @ The Fleece

Had an amazing time at the Dillinger Show gig in spite of a day of epic fails ranging from the car breaking down to a severe tape recorder malfunction. Interview went well, I can testify that the band is cool, the show was great, and Lane read The Antagonist and said it was good. Hurrah!

The manager of the Fleece also liked it. He kept giving me whisky. Just as well. The bus station was freezing.

I'm off to bed finally, but I'll leave you with another photo:

That's awesome.

Heaven's Basement @ Barfly

Have just returned from seeing Heaven's Basement at Barfly with Kitty Moran and McTizz. I don't know what I was expecting, but they certainly surpassed it. Their website says they'll make people fall back in love with rock and roll, and I believe they will. I can't believe they're still unsigned, but I can tell you that they won't be for long. They already have quite the following, and several of that number turned out tonight in skinny jeans vying for autographs and high-fives.

I was standing right smack in the middle of the second-ish row taking photos, like everyone else. I have never seen so many cameras and phones out for so long. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the future. At one point the lead guitarist Sid got ahold of someone's phone, filmed the lead singer Richie and the crowd, then handed it back to its owner.

This is the lead guitarist that, for a period of time, played his guitar behind his head. Well.



He was one of the best guitarists I've seen up close. He was also giving some of the girls in the crowd "that look -- the one that works" at the same time. Multi-tasking. Effective.

As for Richie, he proclaimed he was glad to be back home in "an accent that could melt better" (I believe, was what Kitty said) and Cardiff was glad to have him. There was a significant degree of reverence from such a small crowd in such a small bar, and Heaven's Basement did not disappoint. They were wildly talented and indulgent headliners, and I can only see them getting bigger from here. From a completely cynical perspective, you can't go wrong with a group of hard rockers who are that pretty.


Still, when you see them, the prettiness really isn't the first thing that strikes you. In fairness, the first thing that struck me was that Jonny Rocker's extra long cardigan and skinny black jeans combo was both trendier and girlier than anything I own, but that was just me. Much more apparent in person is the intensity with which they play and the raw quality of the music. It was thoroughly enjoyable and over too quickly.

Kudos to new bass player Rob for fitting in so well -- I had no idea he hadn't been playing with them since the beginning.



On a side note, met drummer Chris afterwards to say thank you for the interivew, etc, and he was absolutely lovely. Let the record show that Heaven's Basement are very nice and they support their indie magazines. Hooray!

PS - Support band Dear Superstar were a lot of fun, particularly their thrash-punk cover of the Kinks' Lola. The bands showed their influences on their t-shirts - The Misfits & Ramones - and that made me smile. Hope to hear more from them in the future.

For more on Heaven's Basement, check out Issue 3 (which is out now, and beautiful) via the website. You can also check out the best of the best photos from the show here.

The Pain Issue: 40 Pages of Sex & Violence. Merry Christmas!

Spent the afternoon wandering the streets of Cardiff with The Punk. We ended up by the ferris wheel they've put up for the winter carnival (see my photo above). The idea of a winter carnival is still fairly novel to me. They don't really have them in the summer over here, but then we don't really have them in the winter. The closest thing I've been to in Minnesota was a drive through a field of Christmas lights in the warm safety of a car.

Still, the idea that Cardiff gets bad winters is laughable. Today was so unseasonably warm and sunny that I didn't bother taking a coat with. I'm not complaining, but I still find it ridiculous when everything comes to a screaching halt the moment an inch of snow hits the ground and instantly turns to slush.

Have spent the week working on Issue 3. Good stuff! The literature section is complete, and this time we're doing a short story thing with short fiction from Rhys Owain Williams, Kirsten Jensen, and Liza Penn-Thomas as well as Part III of Amphetamine Logic. I love them all, and I'm noticing a theme as the features come together. We have more than our fair share of comic violence, fetish wear, and *adult situations* (including our Dominated Love Slave Playlist) that this issue needs a very special name... perhaps The Pain Issue: 40 pages of Sex & Violence!

Or, you know, something like that. Send your suggestions to primaryantagonist@gmail.com.

Speaking of which, my super junk filter seems to have eaten a lot of stuff it shouldn't have, so if you or anyone you know has sent in a submission and I haven't replied, please SEND IT AGAIN! My Minions are too lovely to ignore!

Heaven's Basement and Issue 3

Heaven's Basement's Chris, Hannah Yates photography

Have spent the week so far getting ready for Issue 3! I've just interviewed Heaven's Basement (see above), and I'm getting ready to interview Rochester, MN's Metaloa and Bath's comedy group, 100% Balls. Exciting stuff! Also pleased to confirm that this issue's literature section will be geared toward short stories and flash fiction, with Chapter 3 of Amphetamine Logic, and short stories by Rhys Owain Williams and Liza Penn-Thomas. Now, I've already read these, and I'm sure you'll love them!

I've been getting so many excellent literary submissions in fact, that I'm planning on putting together a Literature section on the website so I have somewhere to put all of it! The section is going to stay in the magazine, but it'll be helpful to have somewhere to put all of the other brilliant things I get if the zine runs out of space. If you've got them, you can send your submissions to primaryantagonist@gmail.com!

Have also updated the Facebook fan page with our first four covers (September 2001 - March 2002) and our latest contributor photos. Check them out here.

Am terribly excited about Issue 3, and will keep you updated as the content comes in. Remember, if you'd like to submit to the magazine, this month's deadline is the 20th of November. Get writing!

American Means

Had an absolutely amazing time at The Crunch last night. It was a special American edition with D.E. Oprava as the featured poet, reading chapters from his latest book, American Means. Now, we thought that Vs. was great, but Oprava has really topped himself with American Means -- gritty, hopeful, beautifully formed, this 90-page poem is a modern epic that must be read. It had to be written, and no one could have done it like Oprava. It's not only required reading for American ex-pats, but brutally necessary for anyone needing a better understanding of what it really means to be American.

Hopefully there will be a book launch in Cardiff coming up, and I'll keep you posted. Hearing this work coming from the poet is an experience. Needless to say, I've got my copy, and you can get yours by visiting Grievous Jones here.

The above photo, in case you were wondering, is a blurry picture of Oprava with one of the Crunch's regular poets, James Angel, in a Grievous Jones t-shirt.

The Crunch was fantastic across the board. Adam provided hot dogs for everybody in keeping with the American theme, and all of the poetry was even better than usual. Some of the Antagonist's Minions were in attendance and in top form: Rhys Owain Williams' reading included a limerick that included the miraculous rhyming of the word "Oedipus", and Sarah Coles (writer: Bad Sex Awards 2009) read a lovely piece about her youngest daughter that almost moved this somewhat cynical so-and-so to tears.

Afterwards, myself and the Usual Suspects got up to no good, naturally. This involved climbing the massive hill to K & Jen's pirate ship (in the sky!) while brandishing chips etc. and gazing longingly at the food porn here. Seriously? Goldfish and Triscuits? AND Cheetos?! Be still my heart!

So somewhere between the fireworks and the poetry and the pirate ship (seriously, there was a flag and everything) me and Jen got to talking about photo projects. I mentioned I'd love to do a series of photos of men and Jen knew exactly what I meant & she's all for it. I'm not talking about leopard print pants & photocopiers (although now that you mention it...), I just fancy doing a series of interesting profiles. I mean, how else am I going to adequately communicate my appreciation for great noses?

Now you think I'm just making this up. I have a highly developed and somewhat eccentric vision of beauty and I'd like, in this series (if it ever gets made), to show that to other people. Tall order, maybe, but it's bound to fun. If you would like to volunteer yourself or someone you know against their will, you know where to find me!

PS - Hope you're all enjoying Issue 2. We've had 150 downloads in three days, so keep passing those links around! It's working! Spread the word, Minions! Issue 3 is also well under way and still taking submissions and listings, but I'm having a hell of a time picking just one picture of the lovely Jen S to use for the cover...

Issue 2 Out Now! And It's Free!

Attention everybody! Issue 2 of The Antagonist is out now as a forty-page, full-colour download and it's absolutely free, so you can download it and so can all of your friends. It looks like this will be your only chance to get a good look at the magazine without paying for it, so live it up!

To get your free copy, click here, and enter the password "elizabeth" when prompted.

Enjoy!

Babes with Brains #5-7

Yesterday's photoshoots went really well. We had three of them back to back in Swansea and it took about eight hours. Each turned out completely different, and I love them all! Here are my favourites...

#5: Emily V



For Emily we wanted to do a Madmen-style pin up set. I did her hair with hot rollers, but all the clothes are hers, she did her own makeup, and the natural light was perfect. This has been the easiest set yet, and I'm thrilled with the way they've turned out.

#6: Sammie R.



For Sammie we went for the '20s look and took the photos in her back yard, which is half-constructed and overlooks the sea and a block of patios, sheds, and garages. The final result looks like Clara Bow in an apocalyptic wasteland. I taught her the Charleston and she did it for a few minutes, much to the delight of her neighbours. I did her hair and makeup, and the clothes and back yard are hers.

#7: Jen J.



Jen wanted to go for a steampunky look with her corset, striped shirt, and utility belt. The theme isn't overly obvious, though, and the set is really a classic Antagonist-style white background kind of thing. I always used to take the cover photos against blank walls to make the designing easier (it's difficult to make the title stand out over varied backgrounds in mono), so that's what we did here. I did Jen's makeup, she did her own hair, the clothes are hers, and so is the wall. :)

So that was fun! Still looking for a few more to complete my collection and then I'm going to put them all in my underwater "garden" (three points to whoever knows what Judd Nelson film that's from).

People are starting to ask what the next series is going to be after Babes with Brains and I have no idea. I'd love to do something with guys but there aren't exactly dozens of volunteers. There's no concept yet at all, so if any of you have any ideas for photos you'd like to see or people you'd like to see in them, you know where to find me!

Green Day at the Birmingham NEC

Just got back from the Green Day show in Birmingham and I'm covered in bruises.

It was an amazing show, and it was nice to see one that I didn't have to write about, although I find I do that anyway (Exhibit A). It's a way of life at this point. I left my camera at the hotel cause I didn't want anything to happen to it and immediately felt weird and anxious without it. It was just as well, really -- we were too far away to get good pictures and I probably would have killed the poor thing at some point -- I managed to fall over a row of seats at the LG Arena stone cold sober. Impressive, right?

Everything that needs to be said about Green Day's live performances has already been said. Listening to the giddy teenage girls sitting behind me on the bus for the three hours it took to get to Birmingham left me with the impression that I knew what I was getting myself into, but I didn't expect my reaction. As I said, I couldn't really see anything at the show, but I still felt for a second like I was ten again, strapped into a pair of black and pink rollerblades with a Blizzard in one hand and a discman in the other; Dookie was the first CD I admit to owning. I knew all the words (much to my mother's chagrin after hearing Longview), and I still do.

So does everyone else, it so happens. The audience participation level rivalled mass viewings of Rocky Horror Picture Show and the set was longer. Everybody was singing, and what struck me about that was how clear it was for 16,000 people. When Billie Joe's voice dropped out leaving the entire audience singing Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) it was incredibly moving. I bet the Church wishes it could rally a congregation together like that -- not only in size, but in time, harmony, and accuracy. The passion was palpable. Somehow this band has managed to draw together masses and masses of people through music and a message -- it's Punk values on a worldwide scale and it's inspiring.

On a side note, I don't think I'll ever forget the weirdness of feeling like the only American in Birmingham during American Idiot. Being surrounded by that many bouncing Europeans shouting about just a few of the failings of my home country, well... that was awkward. Don't get me wrong, I was shouting, too, but I wasn't in a hurry to announce "hey, this song's about me!", either. Still, it was cool to be at the back watching all this from a different perspective. When American Idiot came out, I was still in Minnesota. It really has a different resonance when it feels like it's aimed more at you...

Newport and Schmap!

Here's a photo of Laila K from SB6. Not the best of the night, but definitely my favourite.

Have had a crazy few days. The Sonic Boom Six show was a lot of fun and I'm loving TJ's. Actually really liked Newport, which I know people from Newport will find hard to believe. Looking for excuses to go back. Here's another picture:

In other news, one of my history tourism photos has been selected to be included in the Flickr Schmap Cardiff Guide! Click here to see it.

Documentary Evidence of Terrifying Minions

Have spent all of my time off work with honest-to-goodness SWINE FLU to catch up on the magazine and I'm proud to say that Issue 2 is looking great!

In this issue we've got coverage of Comic Con, Fish and Chips Worth Travelling For, and the unholy alliance between MTV and the Army! The music section has reviews of Sonic Boom 6 (as of Thursday!), Pig With the Face of a Boy, and Clear Air Turbulence, an interview with Razorblade Romance, and the long-awaited Songs About Smack playlist. There's also a back-to-school literature section with Amphetamine Logic Part II and the best in local poetry! Needless to say, we've also got lots more hot girls with big brains and enormous black boots. And this issue is absolutely free! So check back here for a link to your free issue, check the website, check the Facebook fan page, the Facebook group, the Twitter page, and check your email because this issue is going to be coming at you from every which way and you're not going to want to miss it!

In celebration of the near completion of the second issue in this, the biggest and most ambitious incarnation of The Antagonist to date, I'd like to invite you, your friends, and your minions to contribute. There's really nothing to be afraid of -- if we like your stuff, we'll print it, and if we don't, well, I'll dispose of it as I see fit.

Now I understand some of you didn't believe me when I said that I ripped rejected articles into tiny pieces to make papier mache boats and, I admit, that is a bit far-fetched (papier mache boats would eventually melt and sink), but I do have a special Minion who disposes of them for me.

You want proof?



Now, I know that's a scary prospect, but you really shouldn't let it put you off. Go ahead! Send any features, articles, reviews, interviews, photographs, comics, love letters, hate mail, pants, etc. to primaryantagonist@gmail.com.

Real Women (and Men) vs. Intolerance and TV

Here's some recent silliness. Experimented with the timer on my camera and some Christmas lights the other night and wound up with some pretty fun shots. This one's my favourite.

It looks like I'm going to be appearing in Square Magazine this month as a poet -- I know, right? -- and I've been invited to be a feature at the magazine's launch/reading next month. Exciting stuff! Have been feeling appropriately creative lately, although not in a particularly useful way. Planning to hit the canvas sale at the Pen & Paper on pay day & busting out the acrylics this weekend. I'm having trouble communicating thought in a coherent way, so it looks like I'll be giving the non-fiction a rest and resorting to beat poetry and finger painting.

Hey, it's always worked before.

In other news, have gathered quotes for calendar, and although we could get a few printed reasonably cheaply, it would probably lose us money unless each and every one of them sold for more than £5, which I'm not willing to count on. So unless plans change within the next week, Babes With Brains will be published as a series on the website.

Keep you posted.

So I just saw on BBC News they interviewed some guy from InStyle about this German women's fashion magazine that's banned super-skinny supermodels, and he said something as to the effect of, "When women read fashion magazines they don't want to see real women, they want to see beautiful women." Excuse me? Did he say that real women aren't beautiful? And why does he care? It's not like he's seen one in recent memory. The reaction from the female anchor was priceless. I think she was going to rip him a new one before the male anchor laughed nervously and moved the conversation along, the interviewee laughing bashfully like he'd gotten away with something.

Interestingly enough, surveys have shown that average men prefer healthy women sizes 8 - 16(+) over their rail-thin counterparts. I'm not bashing skinny women here, I'm just pointing out that when women strive to be super thin, it's not for men. It's never for men; men don't like it, and any man worth his salt would prefer a healthy woman to a skeleton.

Really.

This whole "fattist" thing the western world seems to have launched upon itself makes me upset. At first it really pissed me off, and now it just makes me despair at the state of things. I hate the implication that what you look like is anybody's business but your own. I also find the "no fat chicks" mantra pretty rich coming from the kind of men brash enough to repeat it. Where are the "no redneck assholes" bumper stickers?

I just don't know where people get off interfering with other people's lives. It's not only "fat" people (and who says what's "fat" anyway? It's down to perception. ) -- it's the disabled, the desperate, the downtrodden, the mildly unattractive and the somewhat untalented. You only have to flip through the TV guide for a veritable parade of glorified freakshows. Fat Teens in Love makes me particularly angry. Of course there's also I Hate My Bald Head, Hairy Women, 3 Fat Brides, 1 Thin Dress, Octomom, More to Love, Freaky Eaters, and makeover programmes like The Swan, and it extends to watching people humiliate themselves on shows like American Idol, X-Factor, and now, Grease: The School Musical. This morbid fascination is a disease. These shows are patronising, insulting, transparent, and disposable; they do not provide entertainment and they are not human interest -- there's nothing human about them.

This weird hatred isn't limited to TV. I was walking to work today through the St David's shopping centre in Cardiff. I was walking behind this guy in a leather jacket and skinny jeans with a scarf in his gorgeous long black hair. Do I have your attention? Anyway, this random big guy (wearing rainbow from head to toe, no less) sees the guy in leather and starts barking insults at him until he ducked into a store to get away from him. What? What made that guy think he had the right to comment on this guy's appearance? Why do people think it's any of their goddamned business? How fucked up would you have to be to aggressively attack another person without provocation on the basis of something so superficial? There is clearly something wrong.

I'm not blaming the Media, Hollywood, or the Fashion Industry -- Media reflects the world, Hollywood polishes it, and the fashion industry gives it something to blow its money on -- but it's something much bigger and darker than that: it's self-hatred, jealousy, insecurity, intolerance, and all of the worst things from the darkest corners of human failure.

Thing is, it's not natural and it's not inevitable. I don't feel the need to humiliate people, and I'm sure you don't, either. If I saw somebody committing a heinous fashion crime, yeah, I'd notice, but I wouldn't dream of criticising them because a) it's cruel, b) it's subjective, and c) I don't care. Who does?

So what I'm trying to do with The Antagonist and the Babes with Brains is to provide an alternative entertainment source, to reassure you that not everybody on Earth is baying at quasi-celebrities, to embrace your inner freak, and to share our soap box with you when you feel like screaming at people.

Oh, and we also want to redefine the popular perception of beauty by taking pictures of people we think are really, really, terribly hot, regardless of size, age, gender, etc, etc, because it is not a style or a predetermined set of proportions that makes you a hottie.

It's your brain.

Flickr Update!

Jen's Fairytale 2, originally uploaded by tigerlily watson.

More recent modelling shots now on Flickr and Facebook! Hoping to make it to Swansea within the next two weeks to photograph a few more lovely models & have another couple in the works for next month. Have so many wonderful photos that I am currently concocting ingenious plan to showcase my gorgeous, brainy models for the advancement of global aesthetics. More later!

Superabundance of Babes with Brains

Had another fantastic photoshoot yesterday with Jen S. We went to Bute Park again because they turned out so nicely last time, and the lighting was lovely and there were leaves everywhere. I really enjoyed myself. Jen was wearing her purple corset for Damsel in this Dress and we wanted to take some photos to show it off, although these will also be used in the magazine.

Hoping to schedule a day in Swansea soon for an epic 3-girl photoshoot at Jen J's new place. Apparently there's a white chaise lounge, and I cannot WAIT!

Have also interviewed Razorblade Romance this week and very much looking forward to seeing Sonic Boom 6 in a couple of weeks. Going to let The Punk write the review for that one, but I'll take photos & post them ASAP. As for Green Day at the end of the month, well, that's not really for the magazine... that's just for me. ;)

Speaking of which, saw the music video for East Jesus Nowhere earlier. It's nothing like the others -- all live stuff spliced together -- but I like the song a bit more every time I hear it. I just like knowing it was inspired by something in Wisconsin. I never thought that happened! Anyway, after that there were a few other particularly weak music videos by especially forgettable landfill indie bands, including Weightless by All Time Low. Not only did the video come across as overly (and unjustifiably) critical but the music, although not actually offensive, was underwhelming at best. As for the band name, well, the jokes write themselves.

The Punk thinks we ought to record some of his songs. I'm obviously drumming and I asked if I can be the kind that plays half naked before/during/after getting pissed and starting fights. He's okay with that. I'm looking forward to it.

I hope we do actually record some of his stuff because it's just getting better. Everything he's written lately has been incredible and I wish I knew how he did it. I haven't been able to write anything I've liked since I finished my novel. I wrote five pages about feminism yesterday but I haven't been able to look at it to edit it yet. We'll see how it goes...

Cake for Help?

Incredibly, Issue 2 still isn't done.

This is down to one key factor: a bunch of articles have gone missing.

Don't panic about the articles -- I very much doubt anybody's poached them or anything, but they seem to have been swallowed by my email box and/or download folder. I will find them, I just haven't yet. Still looking.

This issue is still going to be a free online download to encourage you to pass it along to your friends digitally. This is for a number of reasons: it's really late and that's just silly, I love you all really, and I can't pay the printers for the hard copies until somebody starts funding us.

But I'm not advertising.

This sudden crazy busy business is making me think it would be a good idea to recruit some fellow Villains to help me put the magazine together so it can be a more regular thing without me foregoing sleep altogether. It obviously doesn't pay, and apart from the mission statement that I wrote when I was sugar high one night, it's driven by my view of the world and is subject to my Rules of Publishing.

These Rules of Publishing include but are not limited to:

1. Don't treat people like idiots.
2. Don't advertise unless you believe in what you're pandering and the content can make up for it. (We just don't)
3. Publish stuff that you'd like to read.

The content is arbitrary and heavily dependent on submissions. That's not a weakness, that's just the way I roll. I guess I'm looking for help with copy editing, content, reviews, funding, and promotion. I still intend to do everything else.

So if you or anyone you know wants to write for The Antagonist or help in any other way, you will be rewarded for your assistance with:

1. My undying gratitude
2. The magazine you know and love published more regularly
3. Something undeniably cool to put on your CV (and a wicked reference from Yours Truly)
4. Awesome assignments (i.e. interview this band, photocopy this person's ass, make fun of this movie, etc, etc)
5. All the cake you can eat.

So if you want to help out or write for the magazine, please email me; I won't bite you unless you're lucky.

Magazine Gaining Momentum with Models and Mayhem

Had another photoshoot yesterday, this one with Lisa Ray. This was by far the most epic of the photoshoots so far, with three locations and costume/makeup changes, but we had a great time and got some fantastic shots. Here's another one:


Have the next several covers sorted now, with Elizabeth for this issue, Jen S for the nest, Lisa for November/December, and after that, Jen J, Emily V., Sharlene E., and all the way from Boston, Miss Mischief.

Miss Mischief found us through punkrockers.com and has sent us loads of fantastic pictures we can use in the magazine. Excellent. With interests that include writing and Chuck Palahniuk, it looks like she'll fit in with the magazine nicely. Here's a preview:


Have spent the day so far looking up prices for getting calendars printed. We'd love to get a set done for 2010, and I hope we can get the funds together to do it! There are so many things we want to do, but I guess they all take time. There's the calendar, and t-shirts, and hopefully eventually, a full colour magazine. Watch this space!

In other news, we're going to see Sonic Boom 6 at TJs in Newport next month. Their very kind press people got back to us and we're good to go! Then the week after that, it's Green Day in Birmingham. Can't wait!

The Acid Flashback Set

Today's photoshoot was great, if weird. Jen and I went down to Bute Park (which was packed at 1 pm on a Saturday), found a dark corner and got up to no good. Was convinced we'd get some cat-calls like last time with Kitty Moran, but if the kids saw us, they were too freaked out to say anything. Just in case, I told her tell any rude passers-by that she was Death. Maybe I've been reading too much Sandman lately (if indeed there is such a thing), but the whole scene was positively Burtonesque. The light kept shifting, so the butterflies - yes, butterflies - and falling leaves took on a melancholic dimension in the relative gloom. Jen looked fantastic -- she had her black hooded corset and this black and white striped bustle skirt that did crazy things to my vision, leading me to call these "The Acid Flashback Set".

It was all a little surreal, and I kept saying so. I might have been talking to myself. These things happen. Jen climbed a tree and I handed her a tea cup and we got this:



Out of 244 photos, I don't think there was a bad shot. Had a great time, Jen's happy with the photos, and all of her friends are loving them on the 'book. I'm glad! We got October's cover sorted as well as a few fake adverts and I didn't even use the spare batteries. Excellent. Everyone's in favour of the calendar idea and picking their months, but I could still do with finding a couple more models. Any volunteers?

Afterwards we went to Nero's for chai and Rebel Rebel for henna, meeting up with LJ and Erin for a tour of Cardiff's many Starbucks, took the scenic route home, where we found the found The Punk celebrating The Mighty Arsenal's victory. Jen, Erin, and LJ headed back to Swansea, needing some recovery after Girl Party Mark II, McTizzle's Magic Birthday Edition, which included four previous cover models, a balloon fight, and a roasting of P.S. I Love You. Yeah, I was surprised, too. This yielded to us three Truths:

1. "Gerard Butler is useless to us in the dark."
2. Hilary Swank turned what could have been a genuine tear-jerker into a harmless waste of time in which we feel no sympathy for the protagonist, and
3. Jeffrey Dean Morgan can make ANY mess worth watching at least once.

The best part of that movie was watching The Punk's face contort as he struggled to hold back every sarky comment he thought of, and recieving high-5s when I said what he was thinking before he did.

Well, that and Kitty's amazing brownies. Yes, that's right. Not only is she gorgeous, intelligent, and hell-bent on global domination, but she can bake, too. At some point -- and I don't remember exactly when; there was a lot of sugar involved -- we decided that I can best be described as "a Stepford Wife is somebody ripped out the hard disk and replaced it with a Ramones CD". I'm happy with that. Road to Ruin's probably my favourite, but I bet it's Rocket to Russia.

As long as I'm doing this stream-of-consciousness thing, I might as well mention that I think I heard a busker playing "Famous Blue Raincoat" today. It could have been wishful thinking, but buskers have been getting better around here lately -- last week it was Pink Floyd and Buddy Holly, but hearing Leonard Cohen played (well) in the street could be the greatest thing EVER.

May have imagined it, though. Jen didn't hear it.

Here's another photo from today for you. Enjoy.

Graphic Novels and Super Models

Had an interesting experience earlier this week. I'm going to have to paraphrase a bit, but I was told by an editor that I should freelance my way into a little pile of cash and just publish The Antagonist for the rest of my life, because it's awesome. Also that I belong in the '70s. You don't have to tell me. I know.

It was good to hear that from a completely impartial stranger. Have spent the last couple of days thinking about where I want to take the magazine from here, and I'm beginning to formulate a plan. Well, less of a plan than a list of things I think would be cool. For example, I'm about to begin work on my first graphic novel and I'm looking for artists to work with me. I can draw, but I don't think I can create images dark enough for this particular piece. Anybody out there want to give it a go?

As I've mentioned before, I'm getting a lot more interest from potential models than anybody else. This is a wonderful thing! I'm loving the photoshoots (looks like I have another one scheduled for this weekend, and the next five covers are booked), and I'm happy to keep the Babes With Brains series going as long as there are models up for it. This is fun! It's looking like the magazine is going to be heading in a more visual direction, and I find that terribly exciting. But don't worry -- more pictures doesn't mean we'll be scaling back on the text anytime soon. We'll just make it bigger.

This weekend's photoshoot will be with our lovely make up columnist Jen Sheehan. Here's a preview:



We're also going to be looking into making an Antagonist calendar for 2010. Any thoughts?

Am also thrilled to announce that we've got another online column in blog form from Courtney in Chicago. A former model of ours and constant friend, she's also a fantastic writer. I especially loved her detailed description of getting her nipple pierced this week.
Check out The Court Rose: Adventures of a Curious Mind.

Photo shoot = Success!

Bryony, originally uploaded by tigerlily watson.

Met Kitty Moran today for an epic six hour photo shoot, and I can't believe how good the pictures in Bute Park turned out. This one is probably our favourite -- you can tell I'm a fan of the PRB! I'm thrilled that it looks so much like a painting; it'll be a good predecessor for our future IN the river shot. Excellent.

Am also coordinating other models for future issues & photo shoots. Good stuff! I can't get over how much easier it's been finding models than, well, anything else. But it's great! As much fun as I've had being on the cover, it's nice that I don't have to be. I don't want to be like Oprah being on the cover of "O" every month.

Kitty Moran is a fantastic fun to work ywith. She can pull off a lot of different looks and she can wear anything! She also risked falling into the Taff today to get these amazing river shots. I usually use black & white photos with solid coloured background for the magazine for obvious reasons, but I'm such a fan of these pictures, I think I'll use them anyway. The colour will look really great on the PDF.

Here's another because you've been good.

Speaking of PDFs, had a late "rush" of online orders yesterday, if you can call it that. A few people ordered colour PDFs all at the same time! Bonus! I love it when that happens, because you get the best pictures that way, even if you don't get to appreciate the double-page spreads, and because I can send them off immediately instead of having to venture to the post office whenever they're open. It's good for the readers, too -- it's instant gratification! No wait!

Interestingly, the next issue is going to have to be in PDF form because we haven't been able to get the funding together to print another run. We'll print a few for us and for Spillers, but we'll really have to press the PDFs for this one. The good news I guess is that they can be relatively cheap and as long as we make back enough money to run the website, we're good!

Stay tuned...

Flickr Fun

Castle @ Dusk, originally uploaded by Brainless Angel.

Now have a profile on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tigerlilywatson/

Have been spending some time browsing photos, and particularly like this one. It's called "Castle @ Dusk" and it's by my friend Rob, or "Brainless Angel" on Flickr. He has some really fantastic stuff -- have a look!

Looking forward to the photoshoot tomorrow. Watched Desperate Romantics for inspiration (or maybe just bonking), and am about to have a look at Victorian hair styles in the Interwebs. Fun!

Secret Cheerleaders

Following the advice of a friend, I've spent the day creating a profile on Flickr so people can find my photography. It's a lot of fun, but I'm finding it difficult to cope with to 100mb limit -- I have so many pictures! Have spent the last several hours going through them all and picking out my favourites. I'd like to specialise in pin ups, but I have a lot more landscape photography than anything else. That's okay -- I probably enjoy it more than anything else, so maybe I should specialise in that... or bands. Yeah, bands.

Here's a link to my Flickr page:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tigerlilywatson/

NOFX's El Hefe at the recent gig in Cardiff.

This all started when Kitty Moran asked for some help putting together a modelling profile. We've got some great ideas, and we might actually chuck her into a river. For creative purposes, naturally.

The magazine is still coming along, and I'm actually still waiting on a couple of last-minute submissions. I hope it comes together. The last one definitely had more of a plan to it, but at least I'm getting more help with this one.

Went to Swansea over the weekend for DEAD OF NIGHT and it was great to be back. Weirdly, Swansea doesn't feel all that familiar anymore, and once again I feel homeless. I miss the goths terribly, though. Adam said he'll try to come visit the Headquarters soon, and I hope he does, although August is looking pretty poverty-ridden for everybody. I'll be glad to see the start of the school year.

Jen, our make up artist, looking gorgeous as ever on our way to DEAD OF NIGHT.

While in Swansea I picked up the latest issue of Feedback, and they gave me a really fantastic send off. Really touching. Thanks, guys.

In other news, the our audience is growing through the efforts of the bunch of people I will group together in the "Secret Cheerleader" category. Excellent. Phase 1: Complete.

Submissions, ahoy!

Issue 2 is coming along brilliantly. A strange thing happened this morning: I checked my email, and there were about 10 submissions in my inbox. Fab! I have a stack of articles to edit now, and will hopefully have Issue 2 ready for print by early next week. That would be fab! Now we just have to get the money to print the second one.

Now, the magazine should be self-sustaining, but isn't yet because it's difficult to coordinate distributors, track down subscribers, and get all the month's cash back in one place before the next issue needs to be printed. Not great! So this month we're going to print fewer issues right away, and try to sell more colour PDFs. Unless, of course, a miracle happens and the bank finally calls me back. Irritating.

Nevertheless, the magazine is looking great. I have an epic interview with The Death of Chapman Baxter as well as a Q & A with Liam Shaolin Wolf + pictures, a column from Chris Samia, an article and a poem by Gemma June Howell, and part 2 of Amphetamine Logic! Also expecting a piece on Black Eyes & Neckties from Graham Isaac and a recap of the London Comic-Con from Kitty Moran and Jen Sheehan! You can also count on regular features like Punk John's politics column, the Teen Movie Experiment, and Totally American Reviews. Excitement!

This month Gemma's covering a poetry and photography exhibition held by Ceri Thomas and Deepa Praveen that took place in Swansea on International Women's Day. Here's a preview of Deepa's gorgeous photos:

Beer in a wine glass.

The sunset from a moving bus. Awesome.

Will be using a couple of other brilliant photos for the b & w printed copies as the loss of colour in these two would be a tragedy, but will still post our set on the website as an extra feature. Good stuff!

Disappointing Lack of Spindles

Have office almost properly set up now. Huzzah! Am surrounded by post-its of things to do, red pens, and extension cords. Weirdly enjoying myself. It's nice to have a proper Headquarters. Still, I figured there would be more gig posters on the walls. Will have to dig them out of the moving-related wreckage later.

Loving life in Grangetown. It's really friendly around here, and the house is awesome. Went to a wedding yesterday and wound up finding a medieval fire escape/modern secret passage. I went upstairs in the castle (where the bathrooms are), and this fire door was magically open. I looked around the corner to see a long, empty corridor full of arrow loops. Was immediately torn between wanting to explore it and thinking "Hey man, I SAW Sleeping Beauty. I'm not going down there!!" Ended up kicking off high heels and running up and down it once I was convinced no one would shut the door on me. It went from one end of the castle to the other -- not only could I see the whole wedding from a window, but I could see into other halls from other windows, and out over the moat from arrow loops and other (now barred) windows. There was even a spiral staircase that lad to other parts of the castle, but taking into consideration it was about 11 pm and the rest of the castle was pitch black, I decided thought I would venture no further. Besides, I've already seen those parts. It was the passage that was exciting!

Here's a picture of the wedding from the passage:



It looks like a ghost, but it's probably just Disco.

Have spent the morning(ish) working on Death of Chapman Baxter interview. They came up to Cardiff last week for an interview in person which was entertaining as much as it was educational. Wound up being a personal shopper for Shaolin Wolf -- he was looking for a pair of white-rimmed Blues Brother sunglasses and we found him some at Rebel Rebel. From there we took a detour to Spillers, where Shaolin Wolf and Honky McCracker browsed albums while I sorted the "sell my magazine" paper work and chatted to a lovely girl there about the recent NOFX show. Spillers, by the way, now stocks The Antagonist, so if you're in Cardiff, you should go and get your copy there.

Here's a picture from my Cardiff adventures with the DOCB:



Have many exciting submissions to go through tonight. Have just recieved the second installment of Amphetamine Logic and I can't wait to read it. Was hoping to bring out hte next issue in about two weeks, but have hit yet another snag with funding. Although the bank people are very nice, they are also apparently very busy, as no one has gotten back to me in more than a week. Will have to call them again later.

Kitty Moran and Jen Sheehan have just gotten back from Comic Con, and it looks like they had a great time! Jen's actually moving to Cardiff in October now, and I'm really excited! She should be here for the next DEAD OF NIGHT, too, so we'll have to set up a photo shoot for her cover soon...!

Speaking of which, the photo shoot with Elizabeth went very well. We have an exciting assortment of saucy pictures to choose from. Here's a preview:

Finally! The First Issue!

Climbing the walls in The Headquarters waiting for the Magazine to be delivered. Craziness!!! Woke up at 7 in a panic, afraid I'd missed them. Sleeping in a room that gets sunlight does weird things to a person.

Have phoned the printing company to pay them (sorted!), and asked to make sure they're dropping it off today like they said they would. They're going to check and then call me back. This worries me! I have copies to post to people today and I'm anxious to get some more distributors on board!

In other news, have connected the website to Paypal so people can order copies online. I haven't announced its existence properly yet, but we already have a few orders! Hurrah!

Am looking into opening a business account, but it's up in the air who it's going to be with. Lloyd's called back and the swearing is fine! Hooray! The banker I've been talking to isn't there today, and Abbey hasn't called me back yet, but I'm hoping to get it sorted tomorrow so we have a short at making it to Comic Con in two weeks.

Emailed Comic Con earlier about setting up a booth and having Kitty Moran there to autograph pictures of herself. Looking forward to hearing back.

It's been a whole two minutes and the printers haven't called back yet. I'm so wound up it's crazy. I've been working towards this moment for two months: I want to get going!

Have another photoshoot scheduled for the weekend. This should be fun. This one's going to be Elizabeth, Kitty's friend, in an undisclosed location, wearing god-knows-what. I'm excited!

As for Kitty, she's gotten so much positive feedback from her pictures that she's looking into becoming a professional alternative model. Fantastic! I can't see that not working out for her -- she's smart, driven, and looks amazing in bondage tape. What more do you need?

We went to the market on the river yesterday with Punk John. I'd heard rumours of the greatness of the curry breakfast, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would work. The Punk was understandably pleased. I wound up with a strawberry crepe. I can't believe that there are crepes available on a weekly basis. I'm hooked.

We met by the "penis bean". As cool as I think all-weather artwork in cities is, I can't help but wonder who thought this was a good idea. I know I'm not the only person who thinks this looks rude:



Off to Swansea tomorrow to see everyone/drop off some magazines. Should also be interviewing Liam Shaolin Wolf from The Death of Chapman Baxter tomorrow. Awesome. They loved my album review (I loved their album!) and I'm glad that for once, something positive I wrote wasn't taken badly. Anyway, I'm excited, because they're really great guys, and the interview will fit nicely into the August issue. Here's a picture from their recent gig at Jubbly's:



Just heard back from the printers, and they're bringing the magazines over at 4 or 4:30. Fab! He said it turned out great, but there are a few things I can do to make it better for next time, but I'm going to try not to worry about that. I know a couple of the pictures didn't turn out all that great (due to lack of high-res), but I still expect it to be awesome.

Off to get envelopes now, then to meet Kitty for coffee. Quest!

Week 1 in G-Town

The Headquarters has moved!

Everything's a mess of boxes here at The Headquarters, but the cats are happy and The Punk has already marked several local gigs in his diary for future reveiws. In spite of recent set-backs, I can tell the move is going to be good for the magazine.

Now, when I say set-backs, I mean only that it's taken so long to get everything sorted and printed! It's been done for two weeks already, and we're only going to get it on Monday. It's already time to crack on with the next one, but to get it out in time, we'll have to be done in about 2 weeks. The craziness!

Have been looking into business accounts and sponsorship this week -- you really have to spend money to make money, eh? -- and am waiting to hear back from a few different people. Kitty Moran reckons we should buy a stall at Comicon and sell t-shirts like there's no tomorrow. I think that's a great idea, but we'd have to get enough cash together to make the t-shirts in the first place. I'm not sure when Comicon is, mind, but if we can make it happen, I'm sure it would be worth it.

In other news, we're really enjoying Cardiff so far. ASDA is terrifying. For a minute, I actually thought I'd gone back to America and forgot about it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing yet. We'll see.

The Antagonist in The Observer

My letter was published in The Observer today: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jun/21/letters-motherhood-children-relationships

The original letter was much longer, but I thought it was edited well. My letter continued on after this to discuss feminism and public opinion (as I mentioned in the previous post). Still, I'm quite happy with the way it turned out.

The Punk brought me a copy this afternoon. We were reading the paper today and I found it (page 30 of the front section) and passed it to him. He read mine without realizing it was mine, said "Oh, this one's clever," then he saw my name and cracked up. I said "Thank you."

It was great to see The Antagonist mentioned the paper. The website's been having steady traffic and that's a relief. I haven't been able to work on it as much as I'd like to with the move and the first issue of the new series, but I hope to post more of this month's extra content this week.

Relocation to G-Town

G-Town

After a stupidly busy week touring every crack den for rent in Cardiff, me and the Punk have settled on a very nice house in Grangetown.

It's a beautiful house, and we have a week to move into it. Today is probably my last monging day in this flat. Weird.

The house is gorgeous, and I'm excited to live in it. It's already just about perfect, so in order to keep it that way, it looks like we're going to have to get rid of about half of our stuff. This doesn't depress me as much as I thought it might. I find the idea of trashing the pointless liberating, and look forward to what will hopefully be a less traumatic move than last year.

As I say, the house is great, and is by far the best thing we've seen all week. I suspect the only reason we can afford to move into it, however, is the fact that it's in Grangetown, which is supposedly dodgy. It's near the train station, which is awesome, and as there weren't any burning crosses or flags in the front garden, I figure it can't be that bad.

After hearing several warnings about this apparent dodginess, I checked it out on the old 'net. This is what I found:

Wikipedia: "A short walk from the city centre, Grangetown is considered one of the rougher areas of Cardiff. House prices are reasonable and therefore attractive to first time buyers. Grangetown is also known as 'G-Town', due to its 'ghetto' and 'gangsta' like image, caused by juvenile delinquency and anti-social behaviour."

Cardiffpedia: "There's an air of last century Poland about Grangetown - invaded by outsiders, districts fought over, sections sliced off, parts renamed and given to others" Peter Finch Real Cardiff (2002) p.113

and

"A staggering 20% of the population suffer from a limiting long-term illness, 36.45% have no qualifications."

and

"Unique in Wales, Grangetown has its own IKEA store."

Well, that's nice at least.

According to one of the Grangetown community websites, the worst "crime" problem Grangetown has is actually with motorists speeding and parking incorrectly. But a genuine little-old-lady had her purse snatched last week, I think.

I'm not worried about it, although everyone expects me to be. I know I'm a girl and everything, but shit. Asian supermarkets don't make a place dodgy. The Punk isn't worried. He laughs.

He's from Brixton.

Although we'll be moving away from Swansea, my home-away-from-home and base of operations for the past five years, it's only 30 miles East (which is nothing to an American, with or without a car), and I think it'll be good for the magazine. I'll be that much closer to the shows I keep getting invited to, and The Headquarters will move into its first *office* -- no longer will I have to publish this thing out of my kitchen! Not that I minded; that was fun, but it'll be nice to have a place to hang all of my gig posters.

Many of our contributors will still be in Swansea, obviously, but I don't expect that to make a difference. If anything, I hope the relocation encourages people to "expand their horizons." If we can begin to establish a bit of a base in Cardiff as well, that would be great.

Feminism...

In other news, The Observer called my this week. I talked to the editor of The Observer through my shoe phone. Looking back, I think that was the moment I had anticipated when I bought the red high heel phone for its comedic value. Anyway, they're planning on printing a letter of mine tomorrow, and he wanted to know more about The Antagonist.

He'd seen the website and said it looked "fascinating", wanted to know if I wanted to appear in the paper as the Editor of The Antagonist (YES) and where we are based. I explained we're in Swansea now, but moving to Cardiff this week, so he said for the sake of simplicity, he'll just put "Cardiff."

If you're wondering, the article was a response to a column complaining that women who choose not to have children are still seen as silly, selfish, or unnatural. My argument is that it is ridiculous that, nearly fifty years after Roe vs Wade, people still think the reproductive choices of others are their business. Also, doctors are saying that women don't understand the added dangers of "putting off" reproduction and encouraging them to pop out their inevitable children in their twenties for the sake of their health. These doctors are just being naive: women know exactly what the added risks are, and they're willing to take them by reproducing later (if at all) instead of having children before they're emotionally and financially ready.

It's becoming more and more apparent that you can't have it both ways. If you have kids early, whether you want them or not, chances are you'll have a hard time supporting your family financially, and even if you manage to go back to work and earn a decent living, balancing work and family life will always be a struggle. No wonder so many mothers prefer to go into business for themselves. Conversely, if you spend years pursuing your career before having children in your forties, you're stigmatised as a scary "career woman" who endangers her health and the health of her offspring by "leaving it too late."

Even in our supposedly more female-friendly society, we can't win when it comes to balancing career/family. Some people are going to choose one over the other, and that is their right, while rest have to decide for themselves what's going to work best for them. It's hard enough as it is without everybody weighing in with "helpful advice."

The Merits of Insomnia

I'm officially nocturnal.

I think I should get some sort of identification card that states this; something like being a junior member of the Spiderman Crime Fighting League (or some such thing) that I can whip out and show people who look at me like I'm just lazy for waking up at 2. Well yesterday/the day before, I didn't get to bed until noon.

I like to think it's ambition-driven insomnia rather than plain old ordinary insomnia. When I finally slept at some point over the last god-knows-how-many-hours, I was dreaming of interview questions.

At some indiscriminate point I transcribed, edited, and formatted the interviews with Pour Habit and the Flatliners. It's funny how memory works: Chris Cresswell interviewed like a pro, but going back over it, he really didn't say much. Especially when I asked if their change of direction was intentional. Don't get me wrong -- I like the band, but the usable content only amounted to about 400 words for 20 minutes.

Pour Habit emerged as the overall winners, and after having gone over their interview again, I really can't say enough good things about them. Colin Walsh was my primary point of contact, but the rest of the band (minus lead singer Chuck) participated as well. Colin was lovely and gave proper answers, which I appreciated to no end, but the transcription with the bands' commentary is comedy gold. I threw out a few pictures in favour of jokes, and it's great fun to read. I'm excited to see it in print.

Which should happen, by the way, sometime next week.

I've been arguing with myself over the importance of paper weight and texture over the past several days/nights.

As I write this, I'm listening to the recent launch of The Death of Chapman Baxter (Where's My Girl) and it's bloody exciting. It's good to know that someone out there is influenced by the same things I am, and I love the way it's all come out. I'm writing an article for Feedback about it for this month, but Punk John is going to do a live review for The Antagonist and I can't wait to read it. They're playing in town in a couple of weeks, and I, for one, am going to make damned sure I'm there.

Sexually Transmitted Punk

The bake sale was a great success! Not many people actually came due to an error on Facebook (gee, thanks, Facebook), but everyone there was really cool and bought lots of baked things! I spent Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (for DEAD OF NIGHT) baking and all that's left are a couple of lemon cupcakes. Not bad going!

With the raffle and the door charge we managed to raise enough money to print the first small run, and that's awesome. There's a printing company in Mid Wales willing to print runs of any size on glossy paper, and I'm waiting for their samples to come in the post. Good stuff!

Everything is happening so quickly for the magazine, and it's wonderful, but I'm having a hell of a time keeping up with all of it. The insomnia has helped a bit, but I've been ill all weekend and now I can't talk or concentrate, either. That makes things a bit harder. I just have a couple of more pages to lay out before I convert everything to PDFs and send it off to the printer, and the first t-shirt order is going out next week.

Things are already ticking over for the next issue: I'm interviewing Blind Pilot, Heaven's Basement, and hopefully getting a friend's interview of Black Eyes and Neckties. No idea who's going on the cover. Tempted to use another amazing picture of Kitty Moran. With friends like these, who needs celebrities?

Speaking of amazing friends, Emma, my lovely Uni friend with an MA in Publishing, is going to help us put together a Greatest-Hits-style portfolio to get the magazine stocked in chain stores. This is exciting as well, but my own ambition scares me sometimes. I'm not worried about it selling. Weirdly, I don't I especially care if it sells. I know it's important to keep it going and funding itself, but it will always exist, and that's the point: it needs to exist so I have something to read. A lot of other people are reading it, too, and that's fantastic; I'm glad I've given them something to read.

I love magazines. No, let me put that another way: I love the idea of the magazine, but so few people get it right. Even though my magazine is very different -- black and white, skinny because there aren't any adverts -- I feel that I, at least, have my priorities straight. I'm not a catalogue masquerading as public service. I appreciate that sometimes people like adverts, but the balance between helpful and prescriptive is so tricky that I'm not even going to attempt it.

I went down to WH Smith today. I can home with Big Cheese and the Rolling Stone. Both had Green Day on their covers. [Everyone has Green Day on their cover this month. That's not a complaint.] I read the Rolling Stone interview first, which, as always, was very well written, but left me with the distinct impression that the band has lost the plot. I don't think they have, but the focus on drawing comparisons between them and the overrated and super-famous was irritating. All of these comparisons to U2 and the Beatles are making me very uneasy, and I'm afraid they're going to go that step too far and ruin my memories of my favourite band forever. I hate U2 and the Beatles, and as far as I'm concerned, they have nothing to do with Green Day or, in fact, "Rock & Roll", whatever that means. [This naturally makes me wonder if I just woke up one day as an idealistic Punk, or if I was born that way. Can Punk be sexually transmitted? Nevermind.] But I digress, the point was that the Rolling Stone is always well written, at least, and it was probably a bad idea to read that interview first.

The Big Cheese, on the other hand, had this awesome Green Day feature that lasted pages and pages, but the interview (with Mike Dirnt) was most unsatisfying. I had to re-read sections because I wasn't sure what the writer was trying to say. The layout and the headings were cheesy (no pun intended), and what could have been a terrific interview was undermined by jumbled writing. It was extremely frustrating to read! The intention was there, and the old photos were great, but I'll be damned if I can remember a single thing Dirnt said. If The Antagonist ever gets to interview Green Day, I have no idea what I'd ask, but I'd make sure it made sense before I published it.

Other than that, the magazine was pretty good -- they review zines, which is something that a lot more people are doing now, although I hardly think they can criticise them when their own layout is dodgy and many of their pictures are pixellated. Granted, I think they might realize this as none of the criticisms are too harsh. That's nice. There was a sizeable feature about new bands that I found particularly useful, and although multi-coloured adverts spring from every corner, their hearts are probably in the right places. At least I'd like to think so.

The DIY Balance

Have spent the evening baking cupcakes for tomorrow's Minion Fest. They look really good, and I'll have to make the baklava and the rest of the cookies tomorrow. The cookies turned out pretty funny: they're peanut butter and I baked them in muffin tins instead of on cookie sheets, and they've come out in little bowls like Yorkshire puddings. They taste awesome!

Kitty Moran turned up out of the blue this afternoon. She mentioned that she might stop by, but I didn't get her text until after she'd been and gone. This is remarkable because she lives more than an hour away. The doorbell rang about five, and there she was with The Jackal, holding a huge bucket of gluten-free lemon and sultana cupcakes. She stayed for about a half hour, kept her sunglasses on the whole time, and then The Jackal took her back to the train station. I am always impressed by her effort. It was all very spy movie -- I felt extremely out of place wearing my pyjamas in the Headquarters. Let it be known that The Antagonist socialises with the most exciting Villains around!

Not sure what to expect for the Minion Fest tomorrow night. I know a few people can't make it, but loads of people are helping out. Not many RSVP'd, but I'm not sure how reliable of an indicator Facebook is. I also posted an open invitation on MySpace, so God knows. I better bake some more cupcakes just in case...

Punk John was working on his DJ set earlier. At one point he actually pulled out the Reality Bites soundtrack and played me the "most '90s songs ever" which were Spin the Bottle and something by The Indians. He was right, and that doesn't make them inherently bad, but the weird tempo on Spin the Bottle made me crazy. We wound up talking about drummers in abstract - I wanted to know why we have such a bad reputation, and The Punk just laughed at me.

In other news, there's been some photocopier-related intrigue. The leasing company can't deal with the magazine because it isn't a registered company yet, so there are a number of ways to proceed:

1. Get registered as a business and get the lease anyway.
2. Buy the damned thing and register later.
3. Print with an actual printing company and damn the profits.

It's looking like we're going to register as a business no matter what, and we'll either buy the copier or start printing with this lovely (and helpful) company we've just discovered. I got the estimate from them this week and although it would cost twice as much to produce that way, it would look a lot more like a magazine than a DIY zine.

This raises another issue. We ARE a DIY zine. The trouble is getting the balance right between proper "old school" DIY and large scale publication. Having discussed it with the Usual Suspects, we think we should have it printed in black and white but have a colour cover. How's that for compromise? That's how Bitch does it, and that's how The Chap did it for ages. It worked for them, and it seems like it's the next logical step for us.

The next illogical step is The T-Shirt. We've found a great company in Cardiff willing to do them fast and cheap. This is a major breakthrough. We're expecting to place the first order for sale over the website within the next week or two. We'll start with a small order -- say 50 -- and see how they do before ordering any more.

First thing though, we've got to get the June issue out. We'll have to work slowly on distributors, but we've got to get a physical object out to them and the readers before we can do much else. The speed at which we can do this depends on Minion Fest tomorrow night and the Late Nite bakesale at DEAD OF NIGHT. We're doing this, but I won't know how big a miracle to pray for until the end of the weekend.

That's okay. I'm just crazy enough to make it work.

Curiously Compelling

All systems go for the Minion Fest on Friday. Am so excited I can hardly contain myself.

The support from our families and close friends is overwhelming, and the website traffic is looking better than ever. Kitty Moran* came to town today with a box of American cake mix and two jars of frosting for the bakesale. She's staying at the headquarters after the Black Stone Cherry gig at Sin City and she had nothing but the best things to say about them & their support, the wonderfully-named Heaven's Basement. I wasn't there, but she's going to write it up for the zine and from what she's told me, it sounds like an amazing show and I can't wait to read the review. They're touring the UK for the time being, and I'm hoping to score some more interviews for the July/August issue. Kitty likes the idea, but all she really wants are the BSC pants they had at the merch stand. This desire led to an odd brainstorming session -- she had the idea for a series of photos of pants. Not on people, just in weird places. Mailboxes and teapots and such. I've got the teapot, and I find the image of a pair of pants thrown over my tea service curiously compelling. ;)

I can't believe how bright it is. It's 6:11 AM and the sun is in full force over the Headquarters. I'm incredibly awake. Don't think for a second I just woke up -- you know me better than that -- I just haven't been to sleep yet. Who needs sleep when you have inspiration, eh? I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with me, but I'm extremely motivated. It's Monday morning and I've had the weekend off; I'm ready to get on with this magazine business! I don't know if I'll be able to sleep. The ideas keep coming and when they stop, well, I'm about fifty pages away from finishing Chuck Palahniuk's Invisible Monsters and I have to finish it. I was reading it in the kitchen earlier, waiting for water to boil. It's beyond description. I'm crazy about CP's writing. And by writing I don't mean Brad Pitt in Fight Club. I'm just glad it didn't catch on fire over the hob.

Rented Australia last night. I suppose it was the night before last, now. Imagine a western crashes into a WWII movie, cows and bombers flying everywhere, while retaining that touch of stylistic camp that Baz Luhrmann does so well. That was impressive. The characterisation was not. There is NOTHING wrong with Hugh Jackman - believe me, I just saw Wolverine - but the characters were either a) Very Good, or b) Very Bad, and there was no real development. When the prissy English Lady makes out with the rugged Drover, you could believe it with no stretch of the imagination. Voila: two beautiful people kissing sloooowly. Great. Then there's David Wenham, who I love, as the "bad guy". That wasn't so great. I just didn't believe it. His performance was melodramatic and campy (I credit Luhrmann for this); when he threatened people, I giggled. I guess I was just remembering him and Jackman in Van Helsing... maybe he was, too.

Right! The temptation fo the final 50 pages of CP calls! Plus, The Punk has been sleeping for six hours already. He's worn out from an epic stag overnight that involved something called "gorge walking". ??? On his way home this morning - or was it yesterday morning? - he was almost trampled by the thousand women in pink running at him in Bute Park. Granted, he is stupidly sexy, but on this occasion it was for the Race for Life and he stumbled into it with a hangover. Surreal.

Will Bake For Toner

Have just spoken to the photocopier guy, and it turns out that the start-up costs of leasing a photocopier with quarterly payments and admin fees are a bit more than I expected. Have worked out the numbers and the photocopier is still the best plan, however, our "small business loan" is too small for a bank, but that's probably a good thing. The plan of attack we've come up with is much more "us" anyway.

We're going to hire a late-night bar, host a bake sale (yes, really), and have our muso friends DJ. Awesome. Now we just need to pick a night...

All of this printing preparation has really dominated business at the Headquarters, and so the June (online) issue is going to come out a little late. It's just as well, really, because I want to use most of the content for the first printed issue of the new series, and it might not help to have the same content online with unlimited availability. I'm still undecided regarding the print/online policy: the general consensus seems to be that if you make the copy available online, no one will buy the magazine (which I don't entirely believe -- the physical object is worth a great deal in and of itself), but I don't want the website to suffer because of this. I'm thinking I'll continue posting things on the website that don't fit in the magazine, like the full transcription of interviews, short stories, my own ramblings, etc. I want the website and the magazine to be able to coexist peacefully, and more than that, to be mutually beneficial.

Obviously no adverts on either. Unless they're fake, of course.

The major issue with the photocopier is location: where are we going to put it? There's already a drum kit next to the desk and there isn't really anywhere else that can go. The Headquarters might be relocating soon, anyway, and that raises to issue of further office space and actual transport for the photocopier.

Regardless of the logistical problems with it, the photocopier is still our best bet for publishing without making a loss or selling ad space. And that's a good thing.